The Life Coach Anthony Robbins: “Pain or Pleasure?”

For me, one of the tools in the search for ,knowing what you really want to be and become, is the always positive life coach Anthony Robbins. This American, born in 1960, always gives me the energy, insights and strength I need when I have fallen asleep again. A few years ago I opened my mailbox and there was a large envelope. It turned out to be a gift from a good friend, he had sent me a copy of a program by Anthony Robbins, which had helped him so much that he wanted to pass it on. It helped me a lot at the time, and I started it again last year. After all, I still had the CDs and the workbook, and I was looking forward to it again.

Anthony Robbins’ Personal Power, a 7-day program

The Personal Power program consists of 7 days, or CDs, and on each CD you hear Anthony Robbins talk passionately about life and how to best approach things. Each day a different topic is discussed, so he starts with the analysis of emotions, how people think, and then he moves on to associations, and after each session of about an hour you get an assignment. The idea behind it is that if you do your assignments and listen to the CDs for a week, you can drastically change your life. According to Anthony Robbins, it is essential for everyone in life to have a coach or a mentor to sometimes guide you on the right path.

Know what you want

Now I have listened to the sessions several times over the past year, and I can tell you that it goes better if you really know what you want. If that is not the case, and you choose something you think you should choose, then you drop out. Regardless of whether you actually change your life in 7 days, the things he says are incredibly fascinating. Especially if you are interested in the psychological game of life, you can learn a lot from this.

,Pain and Pleasure,

One of the most interesting topics is, as he calls it, the topic of ‘Pain and Pleasure’ . According to Anthony Robbins, everything we do in life revolves around these two words: experiencing pain or pleasure. So everything you do is intended to avoid pain and/or to obtain pleasure. By learning and living you have developed this over the years.

An example of an association with ,Pain,

As a little girl, I once sat at my grandmother’s table in the afternoon to eat a sandwich. I spread my sandwich with butter and thought about what other treats I could spread on my bread. My grandmother’s always had better toppings than at our house, and I was allowed to top my bread with whatever I wanted. I decided to have a peach jam sandwich, and with determination I opened the jam jar and spread the dark yellow stuff on my bread. I took a bite in anticipation, and my mouth twitched in disgust, what a horrible bad taste that was! I can’t remember if I spit out the bite, but to this day I remember how disgusting I felt. As it turned out, I didn’t spread peach jam on my bread at all, but ginger jam! And guess what, did I ever eat ginger again after that, in any form? No. My association with ginger was so painful that from that day on I associated ginger with disgust and filth. Pain or pleasure? You can guess. Now this is a small example, and perhaps quite magnified. I can also live well without ginger in my kitchen, and I don’t feel the need to put a lot of effort into changing this. But I’m sure you can think of many other examples that may have developed in a similar way.

Doing nothing is better than suffering

Of course, most big things have had years to form into something painful or something pleasant. And sometimes the boundary is not always clear, and it may be that something beautiful ended abruptly in a nasty way. If you go back specifically, you can also find out why certain things in your life are contradictory, why you never finish certain things or why you have such mixed feelings about something or someone. We might also want to go much further to avoid pain than we would to obtain pleasure. When you put off doing something, it’s because you think taking action will be more painful than doing nothing.

You can take everything as an example, the big and the small things in life. If you avoid something or sabotage your own happiness, it is because you experience mixed associations regarding the pain/pleasure principle. Suppose you associate entering into a relationship with someone with pleasure and happiness, but at the same time you associate a relationship with pain (because it can also end again), then it may be the case that when the relationship becomes deeper and longer, you will sabotage your own happiness. To change this behavior, you will also have to change your associations with pain and pleasure, although that is of course easier said than done.


I do think that if you really want to, and you focus on one thing at a time, you can make a change with all your energy. Robbins helps with this by pushing you in the right direction with the assignments below . And be careful, start or practice with something small first.

  1. What step do you think you should take?
  2. What pain do you associate with doing this?
  3. What pleasure would it give you if you don’t do it?
  4. What would it cost you if you don’t do it?
  5. What benefits will it bring you if you persevere?

If you answer these questions you will have to come clean and you will no longer be able to fool yourself . It is therefore better to start with something small and then train yourself to work towards what is really important. The answers are within you, and it is often surprising to notice what fantastic, clear and true advice you can give yourself. If you don’t like writing, it might be nice to discuss the assignments with a good friend; you can also find out many things by talking. A bottle of wine/pot of tea next to it, a box with tissues and a good evening is assured!