A child can only become toilet trained if he can control the sphincter muscles that close the bladder and intestines. Around the age of two, the nervous system has developed to such an extent that a child gains control over these sphincter muscles. Only by then can he respond to the signal that his bladder or intestines are full. In the next phase, the child must learn to hold his urine and feces.
Do not speed up the process
Parents cannot speed up this process. A child can only become toilet trained when he is physically ready to do so. Some parents think that their child is potty trained well before the age of two, because he regularly pees or poops in the potty. But that has more to do with regular digestion than with cleanliness. So it is more a matter of coincidence than of real toilet training.
Different phases
The toilet training process takes place in three phases. First the child learns to control his bowels, then he gains control of his sphincters during the day, and finally he controls them at night. The process of becoming aware of muscle control also takes place in three phases. The child first becomes aware that he has urinated or defecated. Then he becomes aware of the fact that he is doing this and finally he consciously wants to poop or pee. For this final phase, the child must learn to do something. He has to learn to ask for the toilet or learn to go to the toilet.
Help the child
Parents cannot toilet train their child, but at most they can help him become toilet trained by, for example, putting him on a potty or showing him going to the toilet. If parents pay attention to signs that the approximately two-year-old child has, for example a sound or facial expression that indicates that he needs to do something, they can teach him to get used to a toilet. In general, children are potty trained during the day at the age of four and at night when they are about six years old. But that does not apply to all children, because not every child is the same.
A lot of effort from child and parent
Toilet training is a process that requires a lot of effort from a child and the parent. As soon as a major change occurs during that period, for example a move, a new baby or if the toddler himself becomes ill, this can influence the course of the process. A child who was already toilet-trained may also temporarily regress in development due to a major change and become toilet-trained again.
Positive approach
By placing great emphasis on toilet training, a child can become tense and therefore find it more difficult to learn to do what is expected of him. Coercion and anger also only have the opposite effect. A positive approach, where the emphasis is on the times when things go well, is much more successful.
Peeing in bed
There are many children from the age of six who still wet the bed at night. In two percent of cases it concerns a medical abnormality. In the other cases, it concerns children who need more time to mature physically, have had an unfortunate toilet training or have unfavorable circumstances.
Tensions or problems can demand so much time and energy from parents that they no longer have time for meticulous toilet training. This training mainly requires that parents continue to follow the same approach .
Special toilet training
Children must be motivated to get rid of bedwetting, otherwise they will not succeed. Parents can help their children stay dry using specially developed methods. For children who are over ten years old and well motivated to get rid of it, special toilet training programs are available. Information about this can be requested from the psychosocial department of a children’s hospital.